Beth: We have a great section of do-it-yourself. 40-year-old Andy Stitzer is an employee of electronics store Smart Tech and lives alone in his apartment with his collection of action figures and video games. "[4][5] After Marla argues with Trish over wanting birth control, Andy takes her to a group information session at a sexual health clinic, where she is demeaned as a virgin. Apatow had difficulty coming up with the ending for the film. She had a weighted chain tied to her neck that was causing abrasions and sores. First of all, you throwin' too many big words at me, and because I don't understand them, I'm gonna take 'em as disrespect. Andy Stitzer: [Calling to Trish, who is out of the room] Do you mind if I use your, uh, magnum? I *know* that. I'm a virgin too. I was born in Brooklyn. The film is based on a sketch Carell created while performing with the improv comedy troupe Second City. The best GIFs are on GIPHY. Jay drags Andy to various social events, books a painful waxing appointment, and sets him up with a transvestite prostitute, but all end with embarrassing results. [1] The film was released in the United Kingdom on September 2, 2005, and topped the country's box office that weekend.[36]. Paula: [of David's video camera antics] He's performing a public colonoscopy. I work with him and that's it! Jay: Now you're being condescending, see? Go f*** a goat! However, one day his friends and co-workers David, Jay, and Cal discover Andy has a secret – due to his rather severe jitters around women, Andy is still a virgin. Andy Stitzer: [Covering] Oh! [Trish shows up at Andy's door and the entire apartment looks abandoned]. You can't tell? Smart Tech Customer: [points to a TV playing a Michael McDonald DVD] If I get the set, will you throw in the DVD? [about how he knew the prostitute was really a transvestite]. Really great movies in here, man. Cal: [David's character explodes] F*** you! On paper it looks good and a lot of people dish out big money day-in and day-out when at the end of the day, it’s just not very good. Dad at Health Clinic: Oh, shut up Seth, we went to temple. view on google street: 17401 Ventura Blvd Encino, CA 91316. Motorist: Get the f*** out the road, virgin! You framed an Asia poster? Cal: No. Andy Stitzer: I dated this girl for a while. Cal: Okay, we just take everything that's embarrassing and we move it out of here so it doesn't look like you live in Neverland Ranch. Share URL. This is how it's gonna go. David: Well, then, that's the only hobby you don't have. Stop smiling, you jerk! Because I don't do that, that much. We are not coming to your f***ing party okay? Mooj: [to Jay] Tell me something, when your child is born, is he already on parole? David: Did you just flick me in the balls? Cal: Sounds really fun. Aren't you curious as to how that's possible? Jay: Andy, it's going down, partner. She'll like that. David: There's some really great stuff in here. For all you know, he in prison right now. "[28] Manohla Dargis of The New York Times called the film a "charmingly bent comedy," noting that Carell conveys a "sheer likability" and a "range as an actor" that was "crucial to making this film work as well as it does. It's okay not to have sex. David: Because you macramed yourself a pair of jean shorts. Cal: No. [8] Catherine Keener was the first choice for the female lead. Do I talk like a turban guy? Jay: Yeah, nigga, we will both mash you! Andy Stitzer: Oh, ok, I know exactly what you're talking about. The screenplay features a great deal of improvised dialogue. Embed. Haziz: [David is speaking to Andy] Hey, Will and Grace. It's suffering and it's pain and it's... You know, you lose weight and then you put back on weight, and then you, you know, you call them a bunch of times and you try and email, and then they move or they change their email, but that's just love. Until she went down on this guy in an Escalade, I think. Andy Stitzer: You know what? Uh, for the first time today, I woke up, I came to the store, and I feel confident to say to you that if you don't take this Michael McDonald DVD that you've been playing for two years straight off, I'm going to kill everyone in the store and put a bullet in my brain. David: Oh, cause she's dating this pot dealer. I always have been. CINEMATOGRAPHER: Jack Green. Have you ever heard of the term... 'F*** Buddy?'. Andy Stitzer: And I didn't have any bread. Jay: I need to talk to Paula. Andy and Trish's relationship flourishes over the following weeks. The transaction is completed. Yeah... right. Andy Stitzer: I think I've got all the advice I can handle right now. Watch the Trailer. Party's over... [to Andy] Let the virgin get back to work! Beth: I'd like to introduce you to my friend. All told, though, The 40 Year Old Virgin delivers enough belly laughs. You're f***ing with the wrong sand nigga! Mooj: Let's stay inside so everybody can see what a pussy you have, okay? Cal: No. I mean in me, Andy. David: Here it is - Boner Jams '03. Garry Shandling suggested it was important to show that Andy was having better sex because he was in love, and instead of directly showing the sex they decided to have Andy sing and have a musical number. Because when I remove the blade I keep in my boot from its sheath, I cannot return it until it has spilt blood. The 40-Year-Old Virgin was the first feature film directed by Judd Apatow. Andy Stitzer: [cuts to Andy singing on a kareoke machine] "Now pretty ladies, around the word. Andy Stitzer: You know, I just kinda hung out. I don't mess with him, baby. Jay: My girlfriend Jill found *your* speed dating card. The American Humane Association withheld its "no animals were harmed..." disclaimer due to the accidental deaths of several tropical fish used in the film. [11] Paul Rudd was criticized for being overweight and the studio was unhappy with how Apatow was "lighting [the film] like an indie". Smart Tech Customer: Well, you somebody's nigga, wearin this nigga tie. I dumped her. Dad at Health Clinic: Oh, Seth, please! It's about *talking* to women, and I know how to do that because I observe, because I am a novelist. Paula: Andy, when I was young, I developed early. See what I'm sayin? We don't say 'tap that.' We gotta get some f***ing toys! Smart Tech Customer: Well, 'aight, check this out, dawg. What, Seth, you think you're cool with your little Jew Fro? I need genital to genital connections! What did you get up to? It was a good weekend. What if he got boys that's on the outside? David: I went out with this girl for four months and it was the greatest greatest thing in my life. Trish encourages Andy's dream of starting a business, suggesting they fund it by selling his collectibles. Andy Stitzer: That girl was a ho... for sho. Andy Stitzer: I'm not trying to be sexy, man. Okay? Cal: You've gotta wait till the seed grows into a plant. It's called School of... You know... Jill: [holds up Jay's card] Is this yours? Andy Stitzer: It's a mentos. Both ya'll niggas gonna get clapped up when I get back. And you can tell who other gay people are? - YouTube Because you are holding each other ever so gently. It's a personal choice and I don't think it's weird at all. You gotta think, patna! How about... how about Jesse Jackson? I tried to introduce him to a few nice people, he made a fool of himself. THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN. Andy Stitzer: Hey, hey! Share to Facebook. Where Kevin Hart and Jay (Romany Malco) get into an argument/fight and Andy (Steve Carell) tries to step in. You know Luca Perry from 20th and 25th? Romany Malco as Jay in "The 40-Year-Old Virgin." Mooj: Life is about people. I went to magic camp? Trish is relieved and accepting, and the couple profess their love for each another. Andy Stitzer: Ow! Share to Pinterest. I just want you to know this is, like, the first conversation of, like, three conversations that leads to you being gay. Jay: Nastiest shit you've ever done? Andy Stitzer: [pretending to talk to Trish] Really? Cal: Why? Hey, why don't you just, you know, get a knife and run into it? "[21] Rotten Tomatoes declared it the "Best Reviewed Comedy of 2005. Andy Stitzer: Hey Joe. Andy Stitzer: Well, she's no Jack Palance. We rep the same Smart Tech. What are you talking about, Seth? You wanna just take it outside and just squash it? I mean, that sounds gay. I'm sorry. Andy Stitzer: [calms down very quickly] Gosh, I am so sorry. But, hey, that's her journey, you know. And then one person goes, "Blah blah blah blah blah.". … Jay: [after seeing someone get slaughtered in a movie on the widescreen TV displays] Woah! Andy Stitzer: [sounding exasperated] A vagina. Cal: Okay, okay, it doesn't matter if you're ugly as f***, or you're ugly as shit. Mooj: Hey Andy, don't let him bother you. Now, back to the famous pup named Jay. Andy Stitzer: I'm a virgin. "[22] On Metacritic, the film has a score of 73 out of 100 based on 35 critics, indicating "generally favorable reviews". What has felt right for you doesn't work! I'd tap that. Catherine Keener and Paul Rudd also star. Andy Stitzer: No no no, just- Come on man! Brooklyn, okay? Join or Sign In. Andy Stitzer: [cuts to Andy painting one of his soldier toy figures] Now, I'm going to make your silver pants, blue! "There's a line in The 40-Year-Old Virgin when my character tells Steve Carell what it's like to have your heart broken and how you're constantly gaining and losing weight," Rudd said. You are f***ing with the wrong n*gger. Jay: You wanna take this shit outside? Andy Stitzer: Who the... Who the f*** are you to put me on trial? You, uh, what are you, 25? Bitch's running wild, man. You was lookin' for a nigga? Jay: From now on, your dick is my dick. So uncool! Sign in to customize your TV listings. Waxing Lady: So this is your first time getting body wax? Andy Stitzer: Well, why don't you get her back right now? David: You like the movie "Maid in Manhattan". https://www.quotes.net/movies/the_40_year_old_virgin_quotes_143798, I Got Ants in My Pants (And I Want to Dance). David: You know how I know you're gay? . Jay: I will hang your old ass by your turban! I gotta respect that. It's off, and now I'm throwing it at your body. She just loved to get down with sex all the time. Andy Stitzer: [while getting his chest waxed] Ooh! Jay: I don't hang out with him! By. When a conversation at a poker game with his co-workers David, Cal, and Jay turns to past sexual exploits, they learn that Andy is still a virgin and resolve to help him lose his virginity. You never told me that before. Andy Stitzer: Hey, how can we help you, sir? Andy Stitzer: [arguing with David] I have a very fulfilling life! They're the freshmaker. Smart Tech Customer: Wait, wait, wait, last thing, last thing. I always feel bad when I watch it baked because I get really hungry and I'm eating a lot and poor Gandhi is starving his ass off. David: [the same Michael McDonald sampler DVD has been playing on all of the television screens for the last two years] If I have to hear "Yamo Be There" one more time, I'm going to "Yamo" burn this place to the ground. The chest waxing scene was done for real, with five cameras set up to capture the moment. Andy Stitzer: [after getting a strip of wax ripped from his chest] AAAH! WRITERS: Judd Apatow & Steve Carell. 30 on Bravo's 100 Funniest Movies. David: No, I'm not gay. Carell did many versions of the sketch, trying out different scenarios where the 40-year-old man is hiding a "big secret. Roger Ebert said, "I was surprised by how funny, how sweet, and how wise the movie really is" and "the more you think about it, the better The 40-Year-Old Virgin gets. Fuck. Hold up. "[30], Brian Lowry of Variety wrote: "Crude, sophomorically homophobic but frequently funny, pic also overstays its welcome a bit and indulges in some juvenile excesses. Haziz: Hey, Bambi, it's a free country. In a world where films like The 40-Year Old Virgin is the great bizarro world version of garbage like Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Wedding Crashers isn’t much more than the cinematic equivalent of the Chicago Cubs. Mooj: Hey, hey! You know what, you don't have an answer for that, do you? You tell her you're a virgin. Boy at Health Clinic: Wait, so you're a virgin? Andy Stitzer: Just stop calming me down and tell me what I should do. Mooj: [talking to a customer] This is a great TV. Jump off! Stormy Daniels has a cameo as herself. Cal: That's because I'm not an arrogant prick, Andy. This is crazy, man! Related quizzes can be found here: f. 40 Year Old Virgin, The Quizzes … Share to Twitter. David: Dude, you look like a man-o-lantern. 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